i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
