my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
