is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
