We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
