Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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