If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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