butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My feet surprised me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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