So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
where are my pants?
in the oven.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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