I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
