i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
