well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Everything about him screamed your future.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
