just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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