If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
