I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
