Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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