OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have fence marks all over my body
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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