Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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