not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
