nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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