I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
