i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
