He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
