Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
