Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
