She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
