after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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