DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
