living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
