Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.

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(937): View more from Ohio

We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

Fav 12 2055 932
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(843): View more from South Carolina

woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.

Fav 8 1241 791
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(310): View more from California

If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

Fav 1 746 582
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(650): View more from California

So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?

Fav 1 892 512
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(630): View more from Illinois

so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

Fav 2 501 814
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(585): View more from New York

I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college

Fav 1 654 603
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill

Fav 1 29 63
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.

Fav 0 57 5
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