Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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