We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
