There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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