if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
