my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
