Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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