if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
