I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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