i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
