I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
