if i can run in heels then i can drive
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
