for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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