Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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