everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
