I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
