My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
