I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
