Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
