love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
