So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
