So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
