I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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