hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
