i need an iv and a liver transplant
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
