when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my sisters under your porch take her home
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
