I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
